Birth of a Beast
by littlp
Summary: I wrote this a really long time ago. I put the first few chapters of Susan Kay's "Phantom" into poetry format. I basically tried to deepen the character connection.


Birth of a Beast

Gasping, panting, dripping with sweat  
I pushed once more at the command of nurse Simonette  
"Just the head now, almost there  
Do exactly what I say this must be done  
With great care!"  
I did as she bid  
Crossed myself and hoped it wasn't dead  
Gave one last push, then the pain ceased  
But instead of hearing my baby crying  
I heard the nurse sighing,  
"Go fetch the priest  
This one has the face of the dead!"  
When the priest arrived, he came alone  
Apparently the servant girl had absconded  
I knew the priest had seen many terrible things  
Yet when he looked into the cradle, added to my pain  
He recoiled with shock  
How would we be able to let this one run amok!  
I was going to name my son, Charles  
After my late husband, but now that was absurd  
I begged the priest  
To baptize him with his own name  
For the love of Christ  
The priest looked at me with a questioning stare  
Probably wondering what amount of sanity was left there  
But did as I said  
Then laid my son next to me on my bed  
"Learn to love him as God does."  
Collecting his lantern and cloak  
Gave me one last look  
Then left, leaving me with my son  
Oh Lord! What have I done?  
What horrible sin did I commit?  
What do you want me to admit?  
That one time when he kicked me with such violence  
I called him a little beast for his defiance  
Mademoiselle Perrault said I must be careful  
But I said nonsense  
You wouldn't be listening to the faithful  
Don't you think I've suffered enough?  
The death of my husband and parents,  
Now this is too much!  
I remembered how once Charles had held my wedding ring  
Over my swollen abdomen on a cotton string  
Declared that it would be a baby boy  
That would give us much joy  
Oh! How I long for that dream to come true  
Replace this monster that has come out of the blue!  
During this time, not once has he cried  
Maybe he has died  
However when I looked down  
I gave a worried frown  
For the bundle had taken a deep breath  
Let out a seducing wail that pierced my chest  
With an intense longing to hold him to my breast  
But once his wails ceased  
My longing turned into hate  
For this horrid thing seemed to be my fate  
I quickly dashed him away  
I wanted Charles back today!  
I need him to hold me tight  
And tell me that everything will be alright  
I ran into the farthest corner and cowered  
Plugged my ears in case he hollered  
Squeezed my eyes tight  
I realized I couldn't fight  
I couldn't stay like this forever  
I didn't wish to become a recluse, not ever!  
After awhile, I slowly gathered enough courage  
To face the lifeless bundle that just laid there  
Not realizing what a cruel life it would have  
For his mother was used to popularity  
Not prepared for anything as terrible as this

At first I thought he was dead  
But suddenly he moved, filling me with dread  
Fearing that piercing wail  
That would make even the devil cry in hell  
But he merely stretched  
Resumed his peaceful slumber  
I picked him up  
Tried not to look at his deformed face  
And placed him into the cradle  
That dear Charles had made for him  
I left that room  
Sat down at my loom  
And began to fashion the first garment  
That he would ever wear  
A mask  
His Terrible Childhood  
As long as Erik wore his mask  
Which thank go he did without complaint  
I was able to tolerate his presence  
In fact, I hardly paid attention to him  
Only to feed and change him  
Sasha kept him company  
Though Marie often fretted at the prospect  
Of letting a dog near a baby  
Saying "He will think she's his mother!"  
I would simply reply, "I wouldn't be surprised  
If all the attention is simply because she thinks  
It is my pet rat!"  
At this, she always end the argument  
For she knew that it was useless to pursue  
When I was in that kind of mood

Unfortunately, news travels fast  
Marie and the Priest became my only companions  
I was no longer welcome anywhere  
Yet, every Sunday, though I dreaded it  
I attended mass, my head held high  
Ignored the cold stares from the parishoners  
Prayed with the rest of the community  
Though I often thought about leaving  
I realized we wouldn't have any place to go  
I was lucky that I had the Priest and Marie on my side  
If I were to move, I would risk our lives!

My son surprised me everyday, though I didn't admit it  
He would display a new talent, skill, knowledge,  
Way beyond that of his years  
I tried to ignore it a first  
But Marie always insisted on showing me  
Proof that he wasn't going to be an idiot  
One day, in fact, she tugged me away from the kitchen  
Though I argued fiercely that my cakes would burn  
She was determined to show what he had learned  
We stopped outside his room and listened to the bells  
Played by a lonely child neglected by his mother  
But presently, I distinguished a tune  
That was repeated several times over and over  
Then gracefully switching into another  
This wasn't a coincidence!  
This child was going to be a genius!  
Feeling myself go red with shame  
I turned my flushing face away  
Muttered something about my cakes burning  
But what I really wanted to do  
Was get out of there  
Before she could see the tears of shame  
Coursing down my cheeks

One night, during a rather loud thunderstorm  
I couldn't find Sasha  
Who by all rights  
Should have been hiding under my bed  
Suddenly I heard a loud crash  
That came from Erik's room  
With half my heart heavy  
And the other half filled with hope  
I slowly walked into his room  
His crib was turned on its side  
And Sasha was pawing at a trembling bundle  
I watched in mute horror as she dragged it across the room  
When I finally got my voice, I feebly said  
"Sasha! Sasha! Leave it alone! Leave it alone!"  
Even as I said these words  
I stayed rooted in my spot.  
Sasha reluctantly came to my side  
Then I heard a great cry  
"S..A..S..H..A, SA..SH..A, Sasha, Sasha!"  
It was the first word I had ever heard him say!  
I watched in fascination as he crawled over  
Pulled himself up by grabbing a fistful of her hair,  
Touched her on the nose, and repeated her name  
I couldn't take it any longer  
I straightened his crib, tossed him in  
Grabbed Sasha and locked her in my room

I soon discovered that he would be a fast learner  
By the age of two, he could read  
With amazing clarity  
The Bible, and sing like  
A god from the heavens  
But the one thing he fought  
Was improving the way he wrote  
No matter how many times I tried  
To beat him into submission  
He refused to learn in absolute stubbornness  
After awhile, I gave up  
He knew so much more  
That took scholars years to learn  
That it seemed pointless to scold him for something  
So petty

I had to constantly keep him supplied with paper  
Otherwise, I would find his designs  
Lovingly carved into the woodwork.  
I tried taking all knives and other sharp objects  
Out of his reach  
But when my silver needlework scissors disappeared  
And despite the fact that I beat him until I was afraid of causing  
Serious damage  
He refused to tell me where they were.  
It was at that point where it occurred to me  
That he made things seem right  
Even if it was wrong  
It frustrated me to no limits  
The priest said it was most likely  
That all he needed was some preaching  
But no matter that he spent  
Days, weeks, months preaching  
Erik didn't get it.

From day one  
Marie, Father, and I all agreed  
That it would be a grave mistake  
To take Erik outside into the world  
So he had to be school taught  
Even though my father had taught me  
Enough geometry equal to that of a man's knowledge  
Erik was soon way beyond it, computing formulas I didn't understand  
Even when he spent  
Several hours patiently trying to explain  
I still couldn't comprehend it  
Soon Marie and the priest insisted  
That I find him a better tutor  
One that would fit one of his main interests  
Architecture  
So I agreed to see a friend of the priest  
When the man arrived, however,  
I got the impression  
That he wasn't here on a mission  
Only for a good time, not business  
After his second whiskey  
And two hours of conversation about his family,  
I asked him if he had heard about Erik.


End file.
